Wednesday, 25 July 2012

Garden Notes and Being REAL

Lil' watermelon

Green Beans

One lone tomato

Green Onions (obviously :P )


Lots of beans!!!

Well I am quite pleased with how the garden has been progressing. My fears of growing from seed are pretty much relinquished, with the exception of my peppers. I'll definitely use seeds again next year but I love growing peppers so I'll figure out a sure way to get them going next year, and have a few plants as well just for back up. The sandy soil I have will need more improving for the next year as well. But I am so happy with how its turning out.
With that aside, I had a bit of time to recollect my thoughts recently. And I thought on how I wanted this blog to be about keeping it real. Also I don't want there to be an air of how this is how to have the perfect life. I try hard to make the most of life, enjoy the simple pleasures of life with my family, but by no means is it easy or perfect. And by saying this I will include the fact that I did start the summer rather reluctantly, for the simple fact that I know my children and they are approaching the age that they are not as easily occupied or amused as easily. So I worried about how they would handle the days being at home a lot more. And moms crazy activities are not quite as entertaining as they used to be. Can I also include that they love to drive each other mad?  Now with it being half the summer over, I see how my fears did come true. I'm truly hoping that they did not come true on my own accord (with almost being in expectation of it). On top of this is the fact that every mother faces, that kids are demanding of your time, patience, and energy. And for me its all way too much to handle lately. I truly feel alone in how I feel so overwhelmed. Sometimes it feels like, it doesn't let up. UNLESS I am re-leaved for some period of time. Which in my case is not enough for me. And that is reflected in how I react to the kids. And I feel its not fair for them. And so I guess I am learning for real how I need to take care of myself so I can better take care of those entrusted to me by God. I so want to do the best job I can, and loosing my temper or feeling like I'm gunna turn into the HULK is not where I want to be. God Himself took time for himself, and He is my example. So should I be so afraid, or prideful, or ashamed to say: I need some time to myself? I teach my kids about diversity so often, I truly believe that its so awesome how God made everyone different, but I wont allow myself to accept me and the fact that I need a lot of time to get my bearings, recharge so I can be in best shape mentally. I hate feeling inadequate for the job of mothering and am afraid of anyone thinking the less of me. This all made me think of the serenity prayer.

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.

--Reinhold Niebuhr
Ahhh... Being real is a relief. It really is giving God the reins.

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